A would-be marketing consultant sent me a pretty silly email today. I want to share it with you because it’s a perfect examples of what to avoid when you’re looking for marketing help. I edited out repetitive dumbness (you can only mock someone using bad grammar to offer content services so many times), and removed the lime green text color, but the rest is straight from the original, awful email.

“SEO SERVICES”

Does anybody think we might already have that kind of thing covered? What does it say about your research skills when you market to a larger competitor?

“Dear Sir/Madam,

“Is your Site Optimized with the Google latest methodology called LSI to Rank High???”

This bit is suspicious because it refers to LSI without defining it and calls it “Google’s latest methodology.” LSI is short for Latent Semantic Indexing, a language and document processing method. I wonder if this person is:

1. Suggesting he or she has an inside track with Google — which is always a lie, unless you work for Google.
2. Using it as a buzzword he or she picked up from a conference, without having the slightest idea about what it means.
3. Going to use some kind of canned software that says it has an LSI function, without doing any real organic SEO legwork.
4. Using this as a code word for spamdexing. Uh, no thanks.

“An end to all these question. We provide a complete solution for your Online Business need. We bring Traffic to Your Site and rank You Top with our LSI based Google’s Algorithm at affordable rates Our Steps and the Activities to Rank You Smart”

If this is smart, I’d hate to see dumb. Perhaps this marketer will also ensure that we can has cheezburger, or that all our competitor’s base are belong to us. Seriously, though: Internet marketing is not a just mathematical formula that sucks up search metrics and spits out keywords. It’s a comprehensive approach that:

• Brings human beings to your site,
• Helps them understand your products and services, and:
• Calls them to a profitable action (leads, e-commerce purchases, etc).

You can’t do this without decent content. Keyword optimization hits that first bullet point — readable text has to follow. Let’s check out two of their services:

“Optimized Content Creation”

Content like this email? If someone can’t hack their own content, how are they going to create yours?

“Submission to Search Engines and Directories”

No way. You don’t need to submit to a decent search engine. This indicates the marketer is deeply out of touch with current SEM techniques.

“Please Note: This mail is not a spam and is being sent by an Individual.”

That makes me weep.

Tags: no marketing spam, no sem spam, no seo spam, no spam, sem spam, seo spam, spam

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 1:15 pm and is filed under Affordable Web Design, Internet Marketing, Search Engine Optimization. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.